“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” – Brene Brown
We all have those moments. Moments where someone says something or we read words on a page which triggers an insecurity within us. From the standard ‘I’m not good enough’ to ‘I can’t do this’ all it takes is a split second to trigger the tape of insecurity in our heads that we thought we banished.
Earlier this week, I had one of those moments and it completely caught me off guard. In the past, I would have spent days ruminating in that state, but this time I approached my unkindness towards myself inquisitively. Here’s what I learned.
1. Be thankful for the moments where your insecurities are exposed to light and especially for the people who draw it out. Now I’m not advocating for you to surround yourself with toxic people, but quite often a flippant comment can trigger an unexpected emotional reaction. Instead of reacting negatively towards the person, be appreciative of the fact that they have unintentionally helped you. You can’t work on something that you are not conscious of.
2. In the moments when you feel like you’re falling into a pit of unkindness towards yourself, remember to pause. Controlled breathing is an underrated skill people and it is transforming my life! Bring your attention back to your breath slowly. Just take a moment to breathe in and out. Centre yourself to appreciate the great gift of life. You are breathing without difficulty, that in itself is a blessing.
3. Then give yourself a permission slip. This is one of my favourite tools from Brene Brown’s work! Whether you write it out, say it mentally or out loud, whatever the insecurity relates to, say the words- “I give myself the permission to….”
My sentences earlier this week were:
“I give myself the permission to create my own blueprint.
I give myself the permission to run my own race, I am not in competition with others. I am where Allah wants me to be.
I give myself the permission to bring my most authentic self to spaces and to laugh as loud as I want to.
I give myself the permission to feel the full range of emotions that God has created within me, without judgment but with love and kindness.”
This week I gave myself the permission to be and to feel and what a joyous week it has been Alhamdulilah!
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Make A Difference
Emmanuel Ayoola is raising money for A21, a non-profit organization working to rescue and rehabilitate victims of human trafficking. In 2016, an estimate of 40.3 million people were enslaved either through labor, human trafficking, sex trade or child soldiery. On the 1st of September, Emmanuel will be taking part in an inflatable 5k obstacle run with his friends to fundraise for A21. You can donate here to support the cause.
Having some bridal shower fun over the weekend! (May Allah SWT bless the bride Ameen)