It’s been a while since I’ve posted and whenever I take a break from writing, I find it difficult to start writing again. My final year of uni is currently my top priority but In sha Allah, I’m hoping that I can post on the blog now and again. Today I want to share a short story about losing my ring and how it captures one of the words that has defined January for me.
Monday afternoon I went to pray Zuhr and as usual, before doing wudhu, I take everything off including my watch, ring and glasses. Once I finished, I went inside the prayer room and just before I started praying I noticed my ring was missing. Now, if you wear rings a lot you’d know what I mean when I say it feels weird when it’s not on. So I went back to the wudhu area to look for it. I couldn’t find it in there so I went back inside the prayer room to search for it. Still, nada. It was nowhere to be found. At this point, I thought maybe I can’t see it because I don’t have my glasses on. So I put them on and searched both the wudhu area and the prayer room again. I’m pretty sure I looked like a crazy person to the people that were around because I was so desperate to find this ring. Mind you, the only reason why I was in the prayer room initially was to pray and leave so I thought to myself, let me do what I originally came here to do. Normally, when I’m really hung up on something it would play on my mind during prayer despite my best efforts. But I remember just having a mini-conversation with myself to before I started, and it went like this: you can either spend all your time in this prayer fretting about your missing ring or just leave it in Allah’s Hands and pray properly. With that thought, I finished praying and strangely enough, I completely forgot about the missing ring throughout the day.
I was on the train way home in the evening and I was taking my oyster out of my bag when I remembered the ring and just thought you know what, what’s done is done. Moments after, I see a notification on my phone with a picture of my ring in the Islamic Society’s group chat! Someone had found the ring and left it on the shelf in the prayer room. And my first thought was, thanks Ya Allah :), what a nice way to end the day. And the story ends.
Now you’re probably thinking, who cares? It’s just a ring? But the moral of the story is that earlier this month, I admitted to myself that I am a worrier. From big things that deserve time to small inconsequential things that wouldn’t matter in the long run, I worry about every single thing. And because of that, a huge theme for me this month has been surrendering to Allah and checking in with Him with everything. Big or small. I could not have predicted how incredibly liberating it would be for me going about my day just leaving everything in Allah’s Hands.
I came across the quote below last year and found it to be profound, but I’ve only just understood it because I’ve been putting it into practice.
If it’s still heavy on your mind, then you haven’t truly left it in God’s hands. You and God cannot worry simultaneously.
Sometimes we say to ourselves that we’ve left things in Allah’s Hands but we struggle to let it go because we haven’t completely depended on Allah. There is still a part of us that is struggling and fighting to maintain control. But one of the realisations for me this month has been that when I leave something in Allah’s care, I am leaving it in the Hands of Al-Wakeel (The Disposer of Affairs). And who better to trust and depend on than Him?