2017 for me was the year of practising radical self-honesty and in many ways that practice liberated me. For me to develop and evolve, I had to be honest with myself about things or emotions that I was grappling with. I’ve been reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown, and one of the sections in the book had a list of rumbling topics which included:
* Grief *Vulnerability *Failure *Forgiveness *Blame and accountability *Disappointment, expectations and resentment *Fear *Nolstagia *Stereotypes and labels *Boundaries *Perfectionism *Identity *Trust *Love, belonging and heartbreak *Regret *Need and connection *Criticism *Generosity *Shame and *Integrity
My rumbling topics this year have definitely been about failure, blame and accountability, shame, boundaries, fear and vulnerability. 2017 was a year where I opened myself up to new knowledge and experiences which helped me to deal with the above. More importantly, unlike in previous years, I was able to go through a process of self-examination whilst practising self-love and forgiveness which gave me more space to grow.
I wrote a piece on The Importance of Positive Internal Dialogue last year because I had gotten to a place of honesty where I could admit to myself that I was my own biggest obstacle. But that acknowledgement has also enabled me to do things differently this year.
Do not package poisonous internal dialogue as a process for self-improvement. Self-evaluation is not abusive, it does not make you feel deficient and it most certainly is not destructive.
Rather than be imprisoned by my thoughts and emotions, I’m learning to face them head on and deal with it. There is power in not running away from our problems. And it’s hard! I can’t describe how hard it is. Personal development is not a glamorous process but I can tell you it has been a rewarding end to the year. Whenever it gets tough, I always remember the words of Iyanla;
You cannot heal what you will not face or speak. Face it, Heal it and you’re done.
Below are two books that have helped me on my journey this year.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage To Be Vulnerable Transforms The Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown
Rising Strong by Brene Brown
What were your rumbling topics this year?