I never thought of myself as a holder until this month. And by holder, I mean holding unto people. I honestly credit the company that I have around me to prayers and Allah’s mercy, and over the past year I’ve lost hold of that principle and simply stopped praying about friends and friendship.
Of late my heart had been feeling unsettled so I went back to praying and Subhan’Allah this month the answer to my prayers became very clear. But drum roll…. I was fighting it. And by fighting things, I mean I wanted things my way. Allah gave me what I wanted and needed on a platter and I could choose to let go but I kept fighting it.
This month there have been periods when I’ve been in a state of unease and discomfort because:
a) I wasn’t listening to God and I wanted things my way.
b) I wasn’t making decisions that honoured me and the person that I am evolving into.
Letting go of people is hard. It is so difficult (I can’t even stress this enough) but I am slowly getting to a point where I can let go of the rein and just obey my heart and God.
I am so excited for the last month of the year and all the healing and reflection that I am embarking on because what a glorious year it has been!